Fifteen Levels to Goddom
by Pisces
Summary: Fate has already decreed Sonic to be a Pinball Master. Then why does he want to become a Tetris God? It’s up to Knuckles to find out!


**Disclaimer:** As much as I hate to admit it, both Sonic the Hedgehog and Knuckles the Echidna aren't mine. Sega's the one who like to keep their rights. ::pout:: Dr. Robotnik... Eggman... Whatever... He isn't mine either, though truthfully, then though I love him to a certain extent, they can keep him.

**Author's Notes:** Not much to say, really. Which is very strange for me... Hum... Maybe I'm sick. Well, this all spawned from my own personal experience. Piece of advice: Never do this! This is probably bad for your health.

**Warnings:** A few 'naughty' words (::snort::) and insanity.

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**Fifteen Levels to Goddom**

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A Sonic the Hedgehog fan fiction by Pisces

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Tap, tap, tap. Bash, bash, bash!

Tip of tongue peeking out from side of mouth, eyes narrowed in fierce concentration, Sonic the Infamous Hedgehog pour all his impressive will, stubborn grit, and overall pigheadedness into the little precious objected so reverently cradled within his grasp. Bound, determined and dead set.

Sidle, sidle, sidle.

Long dreadlocks half hiding innocent curiosity, large hands clasped loosely behind back, Knuckles the Overly Gullible Echidna crept up to the immersed hedgehog, blinking inquisitively over the tense blue shoulder.

Sidle, sidle, sidle.

Tiptoeing slightly to take full benefit of his otherwise totally un-noteworthy height advantage, Knuckles leaned in closer.

"Whatchya doing, Sonic?"

Sonic didn't blink, didn't move, breathing shallow and erratically fast.

Tap, tap, tap. Bash, bash, bash!

"Playing Tetris." This was muttered out of clamped teeth, diverting just enough attention to barely acknowledge the slim echidna's presence, then blow it off completely.

"…Oh." Even though Knuckles could clearly see this - the brightly colored blocks flipping their way spastically on the tiny Gameboy Advance screen was rather eye catching - he let the obvious, awkward conversation drop off slide. "You're very good."

That would be an understatement.

"It looks like you've practiced." The scarlet hued Guardian circled around the stationary renowned World Saver, bending low and tilting his head to the side for a better view of Sonic's preoccupied face. "How long have you been playing?"

"Four days." Muttered, once again.

"…Oh."

Beat.

_"Straight?!"_

A sharp nod was Sonic's reply.

Knuckles rose to shoot his incredulous look head on, which of course Sonic did not meet, emerald green gaze forever lock eerily upon what currently made up all that Sonic considered Important. "Why ever for?"

This question actually elected some form of emotional response from the hedgehog, though one that Knuckles was not expecting. "I shall become a _Tetris GOD!"_

Knux took a step back at the sudden, feverish tone, eyes widening in surprise. But Sonic did not stop there. He continued, pitch rising with his zeal and fixed stare turning uncharacteristically possessive, yet never missing a hit as he played on. "And when I gain the godly powers I so rightly deserve I shall _rule_ the _WORLD!_ And with these hands…" At this point Knuckles was sure that if the aforementioned hands had not been engrossed with become a god, they would have been waving wildly throughout the air above the crazed hedgehog's head. "…With these _two hands_ I shall reign over all with an _iron FIST!"_

"…Oh." Knuckles took another step back, lean form poised like a startled deer. "Well… I guess that's a good enough reason…"

But Sonic was already absorbed back within the game, now mumbling of his conquering plans.

Sweeping a lock away from his face cautiously, Knuckles hesitantly spoke up once more. "Sonic?"

"Yes, echidna slave?"

If Knuckles hadn't been sure something was wrong with Sonic before then, he certainly did now, and had to physically restrain himself from imparting harsh and unwarranted acts of violence upon Sonic's person, biting his lip and lowering the fist he found himself instinctively cocking. "How many levels are there until you achieve… goddom?"

"Fifteen."

"And what's the highest level you've made it to?"

"Fourteen."

A worry filled pause.

"Sonic…?"

"You are trying my patience, echidna slave."

A simmering, serenity gathering pause.

"What level are you on now?"

"Fourteen."

And Sonic's jaw promptly meet Knuckles' tightly clenched fist, backed by all the force pulled up from the echidna's deceptively slender body. Quickly grabbing up the Gameboy from Sonic's loosened grasp, Knuckles made a mad dash from the door. Little red tail already half a mile into the surrounding forest the accelerating, Knuckles finally heard the signaling enraged yell. The chase was on.

* * * * *

Unbeknownst to our shamelessly fleeing Hero, Dr. Robotnik was at that precise moment very loudly cursing his name.

"Curse that meddling echidna! I was so close to the final step of my ingenious plot to take over Mobius…" He whirled back around to his monitoring equipment, bashed a sweaty palm upon the keyboard, and took in the swiftly scrolling information with practiced ease. "Good… the mind controlling device is still unharmed. But I must get back the Hand-Held Entertainment Unit Version 4.7 if I am ever going to be able to finalize my dreams!"

Twitching his tacky mustache in annoyance, the malicious Doctor pushed another button with a fat finger, cackling madly all the while. "Go Sonic the Hedgehog! I command you! Capture that pestering Guardian and bring him to me!"

The large laboratory room echoed imposingly with the impressive, lung supported maniacal laughter. 

* * * * *

_Oh, God, oh God…_

I'm gonna diiiiie!

Carefully dodging another tree, Knuckles silently thanked the fact that, while Sonic might be faster, he himself was much more agile. His only saving grace that had kept this race from ending right from the start in this obstacle choked environment.

Which, of course, decided to open up in an annoyingly sudden fashion and dump the recklessly escaping furry smack in the middle of a field. Knuckles had just enough time to grumble a resigned 'crap' before being bowled over by a blue furred bullet, sending them both tumbling to a painfully abrasive halt.

Knuckles kicked out frantically, hugging the Gameboy as close as he dared. Not bothering to check to see if his desperate attack had hit somewhere effective, Knuckles struggled to his feet, half blinded by tangling dreads. He hadn't made it more then five yards before he was once more slammed to the ground, chin whacking into hard, unforgiving dirt. Acute, fleeting pain, and flood of metallic taste.

Twisting in Sonic's strangely powerful grip, distractedly wishing for the use of his hands, Knuckles sheepishly meet Sonic's blank gaze. "Er… Hi Sonic! Imagine meeting you here! Heh… heh…"

"Capture that pestering Guardian." So saying in a voice as monotone as his eyes, Sonic wrapped a hand around said Guardian's wrist, and lifted him bodily to his feet, slinging him over a shoulder in a almost frightening display of unnatural strength.

Knuckles gasped at the uncalled-for echidna handling. He knew he was light for his size, all due to the unusually weightless skeletal system he possessed for gliding reasons, but his on again/off again hedgehog friend had never shown any signs of having such muscle. Gritting teeth and thumping the already sprinting Sonic on the back with his free fist, Knuckles yelled out indignity, "Put me down, you moronic asshole! I can walk, you know!"

Sonic tightened his grip around the wiggling echidna's thin waist and sped up.

Aiming an evil glare at the back of Sonic's head, spitting out both blue spines and his own locks that were flying into his mouth, Knuckles settled in for a long, uncomfortable sulk.

* * * * *

"Ah, good job, Sonic! You brought me the echidna as I requested." Chuckling crazily for the twelfth time within the hour, Dr. Robotnik swiveled around to face the newly entered pair, wide girth settled contentedly on the rotating chair.

Knuckles stopped trying to bite Sonic's softly swaying tail, and peeked around the stiffly motionless hedgehog's side, locks gently brushing the floor and blinking with upside-down unsaid questioning. "Oh. It's just you."

_"Just_ me?!" Deeply offended, Robotnik stalked out of his seat and over to the duo. "What's that suppose to mean?!"

"Well," Knuckles would have crossed his arms, but realized it was wholly impossible to look dignified when being held in such an undignified manner. "I really should have known all along. I mean, who else could it have been?"

Robotnik opened his mouth, and closed it.

"Exactly." Looking smug and having the preverbal upper hand, Knuckles kept pressing his luck. "Could you have this lug here…" Kick to hedgehog chest added for additional emphasis purposes. "…put me down? I know my ass is fine and whatnot, but I'd rather not have it waving up in the air for all the see. And all the blood has rushed to my head. What if it causes brain damage?"

Giving a disgusted snort, the Doctor unenthusiastically waved a hand, and Sonic, without warning, dumped the complaining furry onto the metal floor.

While rubbing feeling back into his limbs, Knuckles watched Robotnik's moping progress back to his chair with a disgruntled glower. "I would say thank you, but that would go against all ethical codes I hold dear."

"Pardon me if I don't feel hurt by your rudeness."

A quick, checking glance, and a furtive flick at the nose of the immobile Sonic, and Knuckles meandered over to join the brooding human. "So, Buttnik, or what ever the hell Sonic calls you, what's the clever plot to rule all of Mobius this time?"

"I shall become a _Tetris GOD!"_

"I've gathered that much already. But why use Sonic? Beside being evil, that is."

"I'm glad you asked." Robotnik called up a ridiculously detailed diagram, and began pointing at random numbers. "As the collected data clearly shows-" Insert mandatory eye roll from Hero. "-the only being alive with reflexes quick enough to master the ancient and well respected art form of Tetris is…" Insert mandatory dramatic pause from Villain. "Sonic the Hedgehog!"

"But if you're able to control Sonic as it is, why not use him to go out and cause random destruction, slaughtering hundreds and forever soiling Sonic's reputation at the same time? Wouldn't that leave a much more impactful scar on Sonic's teenaged, hyped up psyche?"

Robotnik seethed, then deadpanned, "I hate you."

Knuckles beamed cheerfully. "I hate you, too."

But mad scientists will not be held down for long when a sinister scheme is unfolding. "It matters not with my last step rapidly coming into completion! You are lucky, echidna. You are just in time to watch as I finally _take over Mobius!"_

Knuckles sighed. "Oh, goody."

_One Hour and Fifteen Minutes Later…_

"I hate you." Cheek resting on top of a fist, sprawled out on his side upon the main console, Knuckles absently twirled a dreadlock about a long finger.

"I know." The Doctor slumped deeper into his chair.

"I mean, I _really_ hate you."

"I know."

"When I say I hate you, I'm not taking the meaning of 'hate' lightly."

"I _get_ it."

"You, and my hate, go hand in hand."

"I think you've firmly established this fact by now."

"Hate is a word I associate with you."

"Will you quit already?!"

"If you looked up 'hate' in my dictionary, a picture of you would be beside the definition."

"Okay, now you're just getting desperate."

"Yes. Yes, I am." Knuckles hopped off his machine perch, and tried to avoid the now disgustingly familiar sight of Sonic playing Tetris. "I thought you said I was just in time. I could have been 'just in time' fifty million times over by now!"

"If we consider being 'just in time' to be within five seconds of the act we are being 'just in time' to see, and if we also consider that a guesstimated four thousand, five hundred seconds have passed since the initial 'just in time', then you could have only been 'just in time' an approximate nine hundred times. Which, I am forced to add, is no where near fifty million."

"…I hate you."

"Don't you dare start that again!"

Knuckles measured Robotnik, measured the disturbingly silent Sonic, then seized the Gameboy before either of them had a chance to react. "Give me this damn thing!"

Robotnik bounded to his feet. "No! Not the Hand-Held Entertainment Unit Version 4.7!"

Flipping a few blocks here, sliding a few there, and Level Fifteen of Tetris was beat. Carelessly chucking the now useless Gameboy Advance on the floor, Knuckles planted his huge fists on his hips and cocked a defiant eyebrow at the flabbergasted human. "There. Was that so hard? I'll just add my Tetris godlihood with my almighty Chaos powers and my Abandoned-As-A-Child-By-My-Sizable-Yet-Screwed-Up-Family powers. I'm sure they'll get along fabulously."

"But... but…" Robotnik pitifully whined.

"Oh, get over it." Knuckles uncaringly sang as he gently guided the dazed Sonic to the exit, who was slowly but surely regaining his senses now that his value to the 'Gain Tetris Goddom' program was over. "Be seeing you, Buttnik!" He waved cheerfully at the stunned scientist, grinned impishly, and disappeared around the corner with a placid Sonic in tow.

Dr. Robotnik snapped his jaw shut. "Well… crap."


End file.
